taurus- weak ass bitch
gemini- ass lovin trash
cancer- water loving son of a bitch
leo- asshole who thinks theyre funny
virgo- pokèmon master
libra- loser nerd
scorpio- swaggy cool kid
sagittarius- shrek worshipper
capricorn- annoying piece of uncool
aquarius- boobie lovin cunt
pisces- bee movie jerk
I really!!!! want!!!! queer spaces!!!! that aren’t nightclubs!!!!!!
the amount of times that a long distance couple will say this to one another and know that even though they may not really be on the way, maybe one day soon they really will be.
yeah i’m a Male Feminist ;) sex positive ;) pro porn ;) express yourself babe ;) don’t let the patriarchy stop you from sending me nudes ;)
Here’s a basic rule: if you’re reading or watching a Shakespeare play, and you’re not imagining the actors standing in front of a mosh pit of jeering Londoners waiting to throw vegetables at the stage, you’re doing it wrong.
Shakespeare might have written the best works in the English language, or given us profound insight into the nature of humanity, or whatever — but his works wouldn’t have survived to our day if he hadn’t been popular when he was alive, and he wouldn’t have been popular when he was alive if he hadn’t been able to please the crowd. And that includes a lot of dirty jokes. A lot.
Sometimes in incredibly inappropriate places. We’re here to rescue a few of those for you, and retroactively embarrass the heck out of your fourteen-year-old self, who had to stand up in English class and read things that, in retrospect, are absolutely filthy.
This isn’t about the stuff that always does crack fourteen-year-olds up in English class, but is totally innocent: the “bring me my long sword, ho!” sort of thing.
But the kids who lose it every time the word “ho” is uttered are closer to the spirit of Shakespeare than the teacher who demands they treat the words like museum pieces.
Sure, it would be awkward for teachers to explain the Elizabethan double entendres to their students — but pretending they don’t exist makes Shakespeare seem unnecessarily stuffy and difficult.
So we’re going to start with the most obvious innuendoes, and move on to some seriously advanced sex punnery that is probably going to blow your mind." -
some seriously advanced sex punnery that is probably going to blow your mind.